Praying for a Miracle

Once again it has been some time since I have posted information regarding Cindy on this blog. To be quite honest, Cindy has been having more bad days than good of late and it has been a struggle for me to make myself write. I do, however, appreciate so much your prayers and your wonderful encouragement we receive when you respond to this blog. So, please forgive me for not keeping you all better informed. Last week we went in for more chemotherapy and Cindy's bilirubin count was up so the doctor opted not to do chemotherapy. The bilirubin count being elevated could be the result of the chemo or it may be that her cancer is becoming more active in her liver. We are not sure at the moment. The doctor said we may possibly do another CAT scan, maybe even today. Later on today (10/24) we go back to the clinic for another doctor visit and possibly more chemo depending on how Cindy feels and what the doctor says.

My precious wife is trying to remain as positive as she can but it becomes increasingly more difficult. She has been experiencing more and more pain of late. The pain medication while being somewhat effective makes her very sleepy. In addition Cindy has other struggles to contend with. The last time we went in to the Hospital her oxygen levels dipped below 90. As a result, ever since the last stay she has been on oxygen. She does not use it continuously but she does need it a significant part of the day. Since we found the last bowel blockage she she has not been able to eat. Every day for about 14 hours she is feed intravenously. Also, she still has the gastric tube which drains the juices from her stomach into a bag. For quite some time she has not been very mobile. She is able to take a step or two but most often she uses the wheel chair. I am still stunned that this is the same woman who just a few months ago was actively working out.

I am absolutely amazed at Cindy's tenacity, faith and will. I am learning so much from my dear wife. Although she often does not say anything, she is speaking volumes to me at the moment. Certainly she struggles as anyone would in this condition, and yet in her lament she always rests in God. It reminds me of Jobs words which have come to mean much to me these days, "Yet though you slay me, still will I trust you." I can tell you though she does not understand or like what is happening to her, she is still trusting God.

All that being said, I want to share a positive note. Yesterday Cindy was able to help Reid our 6 year-old with his homework. I had been telling her how Reid was really catching on with reading. A few nights ago he read several pages out of a chapter book as he would say. It made his night to be able to do that. And so when I brought the kids by the Brazells yesterday she was able to sit with Reid and help him with his work. That was so good for both Reid and Cindy.

I know I sound like a broken record but thank you very much for your prayers. We still need them. We really need a miracle. I am told a group from our church will meet together tomorrow night, to especially pray for just that. If you attend a Wednesday night prayer meeting, please add my wife's name to the list and pray for her tomorrow. Especially remember her as she is in need of a miracle at this time. I do not know about your personal theology of prayer. However, I do not believe in putting God in a box. He is Sovereign, powerful, good miracle working God! And so, I am still praying that God will miraculously intervene. I know, however, in the end his will, will be done and all that occurs will be for his glory! To God be the glory!

Your fellow struggler,

Kevin